When was the last time that you went to a restaurant and saw twelve inch candles lighting your table? Only in the movies? Come on. We all know that fire adds so much more to a dinner. Most establishments have opted for the little tea cup candles. Most innovative restaurants are plating their food into three dimensions. Why not go higher with candles as well? A special dinner deserves to have special consideration for all three aspects: food, music, and atmosphere.

I am trying to plan an evening out for dining and have been asking a lot of friends where to go for romance without breaking the bank. Many people I speak with will give me a simple answer when I ask the how the evening went. “It was OK.” Why just OK? So, I turn to the food guide in the local paper and try to find romantic dinners or any mentioning of candlelight dinners. If I go to the online version of the newspaper, I can use their search and try to find a couple of places where the critic has written about candlelight dining.

Eating out is supposed to be fun, but the last time I went out, I had my server tell me “I don't know” three times when I asked about menu items. Think about it just for a second. Where is the finest place for intimacy? Home, right? When was the last time you lit up your house with 20 or more candles? Do you have any idea or do you remember how exciting it becomes when you or your significant other walks into a home and sees all the darkness illuminated by candles, those that flicker and change patterns on the walls.

Now don't give me any grief like “The wax is so hard to clean when it drips.” or “There weren't many selections.” Go to any “Dollar Store” and you will find hundreds of colors, sizes and shapes, large small, tall round, square. I saw some the other day that smelled like chocolate. I would not recommend any that did have a smell, for you would be covering up the smell of dinner, or the fragrance of the person with whom you are dining with. The comment ALWAYS needs to be made “Wow, you smell great.” Even if it is a comment about a lotion, aftershave, deodorant or shampoo that was used.

Take time and talk to your guest about the magic that happens when you watch a shadow on the wall from the flickering of candlelight. BOOM! You've just increased your romantic meter by 50%. “It's difficult to tell if the glow of dinner is coming from the candles or the warmth of your smile.” Will that win points?

Use the candles that you have been saving for “that special occasion.” Isn't treating yourself with kindness and rewarding yourself something that you should be doing anyway? Are you eating at home by yourself tonight? Light a candle or two or twenty. Watch how the memories of your bad day and all the stress turn into deep breathing and centering yourself. Bringing home take-out this evening? Pull out a clothe napkin, light a candle, use silverware and reflect on the bountiful life you have. When the light from a candle flickers on a wall, it's like your life is being lovingly caressed by light and all yourself imposed negatives get washed away.

Candlelight dinners are not silly or just for romance. They are one of the greatest ways to love yourself.